Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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