you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
