i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
only you would photoshop your dick
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
tell me about the fingering
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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