my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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