My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
