All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize