I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize