there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
