dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
