i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My vagina just clenched in fear
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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