my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
