We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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