we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
