talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
