Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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