They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
did i just pee glitter
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
