u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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