Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
