Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
