yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
