Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We named our party play list daddy issues
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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