Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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