just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
