My hand turned me down
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
