In the future we'll all be gay
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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