I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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