Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
