So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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