oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
this boner is exhausting
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
