I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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