OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
