I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize