So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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