just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
