wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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