I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
