They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
