Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
