Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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