i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
