Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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