We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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