im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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