Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We just shotgunned beers for America
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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