I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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