I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
