i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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