what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
