I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My hand turned me down
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
