I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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