That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
