I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
