you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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