Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
