I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
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I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
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I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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