found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He has the fingertips of a God
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
