Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
