when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
