me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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