Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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