You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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