I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
