It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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