do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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